Saying Goodbye To Someone You Love consists of moving narratives about end of life and grief. These personal histories are complemented by practical guidelines for those caring for their loved ones through the last stages of life. For those who are grieving, the true-to-life-stories demonstrate how others have navigated through the tidal wave of emotions and reactions that characterize the grief process. For health care professionals and those who are offering support to grievers, Saying Goodbye To Someone You Love provides a new perspective on the challenges of caring for the dying and living with grief.

Hundreds of poignant, touching, loving, humorous personal experiences address readers' concerns and curiosity about how others have faced life's final chapter with love and dignity. Specific issues include talking about death, hospice, funerals, grieving, and celebrating life.

• Bringing compassion and awareness to end of life issues
  
• Providing examples of loving care at the moment of death
  
• illuminating uncharted territory
  
• Demonstrating how others cope
  
• Demystifying the grief process
  
• Inspiring hope
  
The narratives and advice in Saying Goodbye To Someone You Love benefits family members, friends and health care professionals as they travel the emotional journey through end of life and grief.

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Reviews

"Dresser and licensed marriage and family therapist Wasserman draw from their experience as hospice workers to illustrate how people have brought up the subject of death with the dying, made end-of-life decisions, and planned (or not held) a funeral service. Dresser and Wasserman not only offer comfort and companionship but provide practical suggestions for conversation starters, ideas for memorials, and a whole section on handling the grief of children. Essential for anyone experiencing end-of-life issues."-Library Journal

"Saying goodbye to a dying loved one can be a tough experience but it is critical to the effective handling of grief after a loss. In this comprehensive book Dresser and Wasserman provide guidance on how we can help our loved ones and ourselves have an 'appropriate death' - a death that reflects one's goals, values, and life-style. The reader of this book will be moved by the many life stories that inform the heart as well as the mind."-J. William Worden, PhD, ABPP, author of Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy and Children and Death: When a Parent Dies

"An engrossing look at how to embrace and of life and grief. Filled with insight, empathy, and even a touch of humor to ease us through this inevitable life passage. Extraordinarily helpful for patients, families, professionals, and anyone who will ever have to say goodbye to someone they love."-David Kessler,co-author with Elizabeth Kübler Ross of On Grief and Grieving and author of Visions, Trips and Crowded Rooms

"A thoughtful and thorough guide for effectively processing all phases of loss."-Robert J, Taub, MD, Founding Medical Director, Cedars-Sinai Hospice and Palliative Care Program

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Contents

Introduction
1. The Elephant in the Room
2. The Conversation
3. The "H" Word...What is Hospice?
4. Caregiver Challenges
5. Celebrating Life
6. Preparing to Say Goodbye
7. Final Moments
8. Funerals
9. Memorials
10. Grieving
11. What About the Children?
12. Supporting Those Who Grieve
13. Creating a New Life; Epilogue; Resources

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About the Authors

Norine Dresser

Norine Dresser is a folklorist and writer. She is the author of Multicultural Manners: New Rules of Etiquette for a Changing Society; Come as You Aren't: Feeling at Home with Multicultural Celebrations and also wrote the eight-year award-winning Los Angeles Times column, "Multicultural Manners." She has a BA in anthropology and an MA in folklore / mythology, both from UCLA. She taught for twenty years at California State University Los Angeles, lectures frequently, and has worked with a variety of government agencies and associations including the New York State Department of Health, Food Stamp and Nutrition Workers; Methodist Hospital of Southern California; Children's Hospital of Los Angeles; and the American Dietetic Association. She is an internationally recognized expert on cultural traditions and rituals from around the world.

Fredda Wasserman, MA, MPH, LMFT

Fredda Wasserman, MA, MPH, LMFT, CT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Thanatologist (an individual who specializes in death, dying, and bereavement). She is the Clinical Director of Adult Programs and Education at OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center, the leading non-profit grief center in California. She received her Masters degree in Health Education tion from the UCLA School of Public Health and her Masters in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Fredda presents workshops and seminars on end of life and grief for therapists, clergy, educators, and medical professionals at locations throughout the country including the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA and the Keck School of Medicine at the University of Southern California. Recognized as an expert in guided imagery, Fredda has created a series of guided meditation CDs for relaxation and stress management and maintains a private psychotherapy practice in Los Angeles.

Our House

Our House Grief Support Center provides grief support to thousands of grieving children, teens, and adults each year on their journeys to hope and healing. A nonprofit, nonsectarian agency, OUR HOUSE was founded in 1993 on the premise that grievers need understanding, support, and connection. In addition to age and relationship specific groups offered at our locations, the El Centro de la Esperanza program offers groups in Spanish and the school program serves students in low-income, under-served areas of Los Angeles County. Post-crisis grief interventions are available to schools, community organizations, and businesses after the death of a classmate, client, or co-worker. As the foremost provider of grief education to mental health and community professionals, OUR HOUSE is the most recognized grief support center in California.